I’m officially on the verge of a breakdown… I have been trying really hard to pretend that life isn’t wrecking me and I think that I’ve fooled most everyone, but I can’t do it anymore.
I was left with my own thoughts for far too long this morning and like always they began to eat me alive. I have turned to an old friend the past couple weeks and I’m really trying to not let our relationship get as intense as it used to be, but self destruction has always been there for me and I just can’t say no. I’ve given up on sleeping and eating and began heavily medicating myself with obscene amounts of caffeine and loud music.
I’m just so tired of emotions right now, can I just curl up in bed with Duran Duran blasting in my headphones and die already?
My site www.brokenteeth.org launched today, finally. It’s not fully functioning, but the blog works for now, so I’m pretty stoked. Life is killing me today. I’m running on no sleep, too much caffeine, and a bit of food. I have gone through every single emotion at least twice today and at this point I’m ready to die. I fucking hate feeling like this… ugh… I just want to get some good sleep followed by some good food and some good bro time with my boys from Jersey. Hopefully at this time tomorrow night I will be in better spirits…
I’ve been in serious hibernation mode for the past couple days. Dallas is like a fucking ghost town seeing as how SXSW is still banging, and I’m think it will remain this way til monday night. I have been spending most of my time doing the following…
-Watching Netflix movies on the 360
-Making Annaliese hate me, although she is one of my fave e-friends
-Thinking about starting a moped gang
-Stressing out about getting brokenteeth.org up and running
I really need to get to work now, but a prayer circle just broke out in the living room, SRSLY. My black soul just died a bit… I need Jenna from GG and Keith from U1’s goth forces more than ever now… ugh…
Usually when I am not involved in certain activities or not a part of certain situations it is because I choose to not be. I am that asshole who hates everyone and everything, so it kinda goes hand in hand. Rarely do I ever feel genuinely left out, but lately that has changed. I’m just not used to having my feelings hurt by small stupid little things that I really shouldn’t even be wasting a couple seconds thinking about, but I guess I’m becoming a much softer man as the years go by. I feel like sundays tend to magnify the negativity of any situation and maybe I can chalk this little rant up to that, but I really just wanna go to bed and sleep until monday.
I’m taking a cake decorating class tomorrow and getting paid to for it, so hopefully that will cheer me up a bit.